As Doris Day used to say, “Everybody loves a lover.” While that might not be universally true, what is true is that the Lover archetype is one inherent and even integral within the human life cycle. Although it is a deeply nuanced archetype that evolves with us for most of our lives—and shows up in many guises—it is particularly foundational to the First Act of our lives, when it first emerges in response to the coming-of-age lessons of the Maiden Arc.
The archetypal Lover, as I will be discussing it here, is not simply a person who falls in love. Obviously, falling in love can happen at any stage of one’s life and in relationship to any of the progressive archetypal character arcs.
Specifically, the Lover as a Flat archetype within this particular system of archetypes is in reference to “first love” or “young love.” It is the period of awakened love and sexuality in which a character is just beginning to explore what it might mean to no longer be “one” with the tribe, but simply “one” with another “one.”
This is not a mature love. It is the intense, wonderful, passionate, exploratory, sometimes frightening first love of the young adult. Although it signifies growth, it is also an ironically destructive force, since it signifies the means and the route by which the youth finds a path away from the necessary “mother love” of the parents, from whom he or she has only so recently begun to individuate, and into the possibility of a supporting love and union with another individuated person.
As the “resting” period between the crucibles of the Maiden and the Hero Arcs, the Lover also represents the foundation the Hero will require for moving forward into his all-important Quest. As you may remember, the Hero Arc, which completes the youthful initiations of life’s First Act, is ultimately about learning to submit one’s personal Power to a worthy Love.
The Love of the Hero is not specifically a romantic love (although it is often represented as such). Rather, it is a Love that allows him to re-integrate as a mature adult with the tribe from which he has now successfully individuated. His explorations of romantic love both prior to and during his transformative arc rest upon the Lover archetype that knits together the journeys of the Maiden and the Hero.
Because the Lover has so far completed only one arc (the Maiden), the love experienced in this period is still unformed, possessive, immature, and often un-individuated. It is the teenage love eulogized in so many pop songs. The love that will be experienced later, in the Hero arc, is the maturing of this potential into a deeper, richer, more developed love—one that can give without giving away one’s self.
The Lover Archetype: Empowered Youth
Previous Arc: Maiden
Subsequent Positive Arc: Hero
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